How To Find My Key To Bitstamp Xrp?

following hi my name is JAMES i have recently lost my private key for bitstamp xrp. this was in a fit of anger when the price dropped to 0 cents on bitstamp, so it doesnt make any sense to ask me where my private key was since I dont know what happened to them.

very importantly however, how can i find my new vps free of charge? I would be willing to pay few bucks per month on account that they are low power but reliable. im thinking about something like 65 mb download and 100mb upload via vlan auto detect on encryption method AES-256-CBC seems decent enough however not sure if it suits me since all machines connected will also see each other at the same time with unencrypted state of course.